steps & stages, excerpt from Today's Parent magazine

by Teresa Pitman, Holly Bennett and Cathie Kryczka,

from birth to 12 months
BABIES AND DOGS

Boots was a high-spirited border collie. Although she sometimes got overly excited and difficult to manage, her owners really liked her. Then the baby came along. Suddenly, the long walks that Boots lived for were hard to fit in. Suddenly, her barking and racing around the house were major problems. Boots spent more and more time tied in the backyard and before long an energetic dog had become a problem dog. Within a year of the baby's birth, the family had to give Boots up.

It doesn't have to be that way. Dogs and babies can coexist nicely, and even become fast friends.

The dog our family adopted happened to be a natural with kids. Through three babyhoods, Jay was the best cure for inconsolable crying. We'd call her over, and our kids would cheer up at the sight of her. They tossed the dog illicit treats from their highchair, learned to crawl by following her, and played "give and take the sock" with her. She was unfailingly patient, quiet and gentle. It was plain dumb luck on our part.

Whenever dogs and babies are together, you should be
around to nip inappropriate behaviour in the bud.

But you can't count on luck. a much better option, says dog trainer and mother of three Deb McCann, is to teach your dog to fit into family life before you have babies. It starts, she says, with basic obedience.

"Your dog should clearly understand that you are in charge," says McCann, who with her husband Marti, runs McCann Professional Dog Trainers in the Dundas, Ontario area. "If you cannot control your dog, work first on obedience commands. You'll need them."

Think about what life with a baby will be like, suggests Brian Kilcommons in his book Childproofing Your Dog, and about whether any of your dog's current habits are going to cause problems once the baby is born. Are you going to want him sleeping on the couch once you're nursing the baby there? If not, dethrone him now, so he can get used to the new routine. Will the way he jumps up to beg for a walk be cute when you've got a crying baby in your arms? Better work on his manners. Will you want him playing "chase" when your baby is learning to walk? If not, then it's time to stop wild play in the house.

What else can you do before the baby is born? "Socialize your dog to kids from puppyhood," advises McCann. "Dogs don't even really identify babies and toddlers as people - they sound different, they move erratically, they're way smaller. To a dog that isn't used to them, young children can be very disturbing." If your older dog has had no contact with kids, or if you see a reaction that worries you, consult a trainer.

Once the baby is born, McCann stresses the need for supervision whenever the dog and the baby are together. That way, you can ensure safety and nip inappropriate behaviour - from either one - in the bud. "I don't think it's a good idea to let the dog be over-familiar with the baby, licking and snuffling at her," says McCann. "A polite sniff is OK, but the baby should clearly be yours. You don't want him to see the baby as another dog." (Besides, a dog's mouth isn't likely to be sparkly clean!)

Other good strategies:

• Exercise. Kilcammons writes, "Exercise is the best problem preventative there is." If you can't keep up your dogs walk routine now that you have a baby to care for, consider hiring a teenager to take him out after school.
• Neuter your dog. "Neutering doesn't change the dog's temperament," says McCann, "but it reduces dominant or aggressive behaviour. A neutered or spayed dog is a much better pet."
• Use a crate. A crate gives you a break from the dog when you have too much to cope with already - and once your baby is mobile, it gives your dog a welcome refuge from his adoring sidekick. If he isn't used to a crate, you can use some other comfortable place - another room or an outdoor run. As your baby becomes a toddler, suggests McCann, teach her that we "never bug the dog when he's in his crate."
• Accustom your dog to baby manners. As she grows up, your baby should be taught to pat gently, stay away from the food bowl, and let sleeping dogs lie. (This last one is important, says McCann. Gentle dogs have been known to snap in a startle reflex when suddenly awakened by a toddler hug.) But there will be slip-ups. So, says McCann, teach your dog to tolerate slightly rough handling from you. "Don't hurt your dog, but take a hold of a roll of skin and pull it a little, while giving him a treat and praising him. Give his ears a tug. 'Good dog!' Make a squealy sound, grab hold of his tail, and give him a treat. Teach him that good things come from being handled."

Similarly, Kilcommons advises gradually training your dog to accept interruptions while he's eating. Start by giving his meal in small installments, so you're picking up his dish frequently. Then add some treats to his meal while he's still eating. Gradually build up the level of interference until you can put your hand right in his dish while he eats, gently bump him, or grab a toy beside him. If your dog growls or stiffens, back off and consult a trainer.

Indeed, growling for any reason but play is a sign of potential trouble that should not be ignored. Although most dogs adapt easily to a new baby and become trusted family pets, a very few, for safety's sake, should not live with kids. And sometimes, a good dog gets on the wrong track, and things need to turn around fast. As McCann says, "You can't take a chance when it comes to kids." If your dog growls, "guards" his toys or food, or seems frightened of your baby, get the advice of a reputable trainer right away. - End